Emotions have a beginning, a middle, and an end, explain the authors of "Burnout." If you don't complete the stress cycle, you can get stuck in the tunnel of emotion.
An enticing recap of Nagoski's Burnout conceptualization. I believe that a key concept behind the importance of emotional intelligence, "EQ," is not just that it's important to be aware of emotions in our lives. It's that emotions are really messengers. They themselves are intelligence packets trying to tell us something. My anger is about something. My anxiety is about something. (And as I develop this in MindSense, our various emotional states are actually aggregates gathered from multiple somethings.
I think it's helpful to imagine a nagging emotion as if it were a child pulling at your apron while yo're trying to cook a serious meal. It demands "I want your attention NOW." Ignoring the intrusion seldom gets you anywhere. It's often helpful to give the attention-demanding intruder some air time.
So too with emotions. Imagine inviting each (mostly 'negative') emotional intruder to speak. "What are you trying to tell me?" In the case of anger, it's usually about unfairness of some sort. For anxiety, it's a feared outcome; sadness, loss; shame, failing; pain, "trapped-ness."
I believe that emotions are simply trying to tell us something, perhaps something they already told us and felt we ignored. Once an emotion intruder / messenger has done its work, that messenger has faithfully delivered its message, it can be discharged and return to the marrow of emotions to be shaped into a new message.
Though I've not yet read it, I suspect we're on the same page. You can discharge each emotion messenger in the diverse ways you listed, and you can also invite them in for tea and a chat. "So, what news do you have for me today?"
Kernan, I love this way you described emotions as messengers. And the idea of listening to them and being open to their missives. I'll be pondering this — thank you!
I love this idea of completing the stress cycle—something that I never considered before. But it makes so much sense! Especially crying as a way to tell our bodies that the cycle is complete and we can move on to other emotions.
I'm so happy I read your post this evening. It feels fortuitously timed. I think I'll watch a good sad movie tonight, and cry out of the tunnel of stress I've been living in for far too long. Thank you Brianne! Also, I love, love your artwork on this post. Fabulous!
An enticing recap of Nagoski's Burnout conceptualization. I believe that a key concept behind the importance of emotional intelligence, "EQ," is not just that it's important to be aware of emotions in our lives. It's that emotions are really messengers. They themselves are intelligence packets trying to tell us something. My anger is about something. My anxiety is about something. (And as I develop this in MindSense, our various emotional states are actually aggregates gathered from multiple somethings.
I think it's helpful to imagine a nagging emotion as if it were a child pulling at your apron while yo're trying to cook a serious meal. It demands "I want your attention NOW." Ignoring the intrusion seldom gets you anywhere. It's often helpful to give the attention-demanding intruder some air time.
So too with emotions. Imagine inviting each (mostly 'negative') emotional intruder to speak. "What are you trying to tell me?" In the case of anger, it's usually about unfairness of some sort. For anxiety, it's a feared outcome; sadness, loss; shame, failing; pain, "trapped-ness."
I believe that emotions are simply trying to tell us something, perhaps something they already told us and felt we ignored. Once an emotion intruder / messenger has done its work, that messenger has faithfully delivered its message, it can be discharged and return to the marrow of emotions to be shaped into a new message.
Though I've not yet read it, I suspect we're on the same page. You can discharge each emotion messenger in the diverse ways you listed, and you can also invite them in for tea and a chat. "So, what news do you have for me today?"
Kernan, I love this way you described emotions as messengers. And the idea of listening to them and being open to their missives. I'll be pondering this — thank you!
I love this idea of completing the stress cycle—something that I never considered before. But it makes so much sense! Especially crying as a way to tell our bodies that the cycle is complete and we can move on to other emotions.
I'm so happy I read your post this evening. It feels fortuitously timed. I think I'll watch a good sad movie tonight, and cry out of the tunnel of stress I've been living in for far too long. Thank you Brianne! Also, I love, love your artwork on this post. Fabulous!