When stress is good

Counter-intuitive wisdom and practical tips from Dr. Kelly McGonigal

My imagining of a stress response

Hello friends! The seasons have shifted here, and I’m back with Sunday essays for Odyssey of the Body. That means this newsletter returns to two issues a week, on Sundays and Wednesdays. I hope you find these helpful. Please feel free to email me anytime to tell me what you like and don’t like, what has been useful and not. Today’s newsletter is about how we think about stress.

When you read the word “stress,” what comes to mind?

Do you get a negative feeling? Or a positive feeling?

Stress, to me, brings up images of

… driving on a hectic New York City highway to a doctor’s appointment

… exhausting nights when a certain little baby woke up every few hours

… worrying about possible mistakes in the newspaper the next day, back when I was an editor

In stressful situations, my body feels wired and tense. My mind feels full and occupied.

I have learned — likely through lots of messages in our culture about how bad it is to be stressed out — that this feeling in my body signals something bad.

But could the feeling of stress be good?

Could stress be good?

What would that even look like?

The “upside” of stress

Kellly McGonigal, PhD, details this seemingly counter-intuitive possibility in her book The Upside of Stress, which is utterly captivating and mind-bending. If we ever have a Odyssey of the Body book club, this book will be one we read together.

While I was thinking about stress as inherently negative, something to be avoided, she defines stress differently and much more broadly:

“Stress is what arises when something you care about is at stake.”

The stress of a new baby.

The stress of an important story.

The stress of navigating a journey.

Something you care about is at the root of stress.

As Dr. McGonigal writes:

“Stress and meaning are inextricably linked. You don’t stress out about things you don’t care about, and you can’t create a meaningful life without experiencing some stress.”

Stress is built into any life of meaning and purpose.

Dr. McGonigal points out that the feeling we get in stressful situations is our body responding to something we care about and ramping up the necessary response, so we will be ready to be able to handle it.

When I’m driving at 65 mph on a busy interstate, and I feel my body reacting to the stress, I might think those feelings of nerves or tension are bad signals.

But what I’m feeling is my body ramping up to make sure I can focus keenly, be attuned to the cars all around me, and notice the one sneaking up into my blind spot. My body’s response to the situation is helping, as my senses are heightened to be able to navigate the drive well and be prepared for that other car on the left suddenly cutting me off.

This is not to say that chronic stress is good for our health or that traumatic experiences are good. Dr. McGongial isn’t say that at all.

She’s instead pointing out that the feeling of stress that comes when we are in a higher-stakes situation is our body reacting to help us. And when we notice what’s good in any situation — terrible or simply frustrating — it can be useful.

Our mindset matters

Thinking about stress as positive was mind-bending enough, but then Dr. McGongial adds another layer.

Apparently how we think about stress — whether we view it as negative or positive — actually affects the outcome of the situation.

What?!

Our type of thinking matters because it is, at its core, more than a single thought, she points out. Such positive or negative thinking becomes our mindset around how we interpret our body’s state of stress.

“… A mindset is a belief that biases how you think, feel, and act. It’s like a filter that you see everything through.”

Our mindsets aren’t fixed forever, though. They originated from somewhere, and they can be shifted.

For example, in one study, some some students listened to a talk before they took a test that emphasized that that nerves were not a signal that they will do poorly, but actually were signals that their bodies were helping them to focus and prepare for the important test.

Students who listened to this talk performed measurably better than students who didn’t get the talk.

In The Upside of Stress, Dr. McGongial chronicles study after study that show that shifting how we think about something matters in real ways. Some of the studies are astonishing.

When it comes to stress, whatever mindset we adopt — “Stress Is Harmful” or “Stress is Enhancing” — makes a difference. And that ends up affecting our health.

As Dr. McGonigal writes:

“Viewing your stress response as a resource works because it helps you believe ‘I can do this. This belief is important for ordinary stress, but it may be even more important for extraordinary stress. Knowing that you are adequate to the challenges in your life can mean the difference between hope and despair, persistence or defeat. Research shows that how you interpret your body’s stress response plays a role in this belief, whether you are worries about an exam, getting over a divorce, or facing your next round of chemo.”

“Embracing stress is a radical act of self-trust: View yourself as capable and your body as a resource.”

Wow.

Let’s repeat that.

“Embracing stress is a radical act of self-trust.”

You are capable.

The stress response you are feeling is your body as a resource to handle this situation.

You can do this.

How does this work in real life?

Here’s a thought:

Oh, golly. I am STRESSED today.

How do we turn it into a positive thought?

I’m working on something I care about, something that matters.

My body is responding to the stress. It’s gearing up to make sure I can handle this.

All this makes me wonder if we need a new name for stress, these signals that are our body prepping for a time of importance.

Maybe “gearing up” or “catalyzing” or “humming to readiness”?

What do you think?

A real-life example

Earlier this month, we were driving to our son’s first Little League baseball game. He was in the backseat in his new blue-and-orange Mets uniform with a baseball cap on. He was buzzing, full of energy.

“I’m excited, but I’m also kind of nervous,” he piped up. “My stomach feels weird. Like when they say you have butterflies in your stomach.”

I thought back to The Upside of Stress. I turned around from my front-row passenger seat and told him:

“That’s your body getting you all ready for the game. It’s a great sign.”

He grinned.

He had a terrific, totally fun game.

I hope you have a marvelous week ahead with the best feelings of stress.

To our journeys and healthier days ahead,

Brianne