Let's make a new habit 🌟
How can we put small healthy actions on automatic pilot?
Hello, friends! I hope you are having a sweet weekend.
Let’s talk about consistency today. (Yes, me, a writer who hasn’t been as consistent as I would have liked with this newsletter! A topic close to my heart.)
I’ve been listening to the Idea to Startup podcast with entrepreneur Brian Scordato. Lately, he’s been talking about a new business idea he has to help people who have chronic pain, which is about 20% of Americans, according to the CDC. Brian has been doing tons of interviews to understand better what they are facing, what they’ve tried, what helps.
On a recent podcast episode, he shared: “As I’ve do more of the chronic pain interviews, I’ve been amazed that like 90% of the people I interview grudgingly admit the same thing. Here is a direct quote:
“If I do my exercises each day, I feel good.
“But they take 20 minutes. And they’re boring. And I hate that I have to do them. And I wish I didn’t have to do them. I didn’t use to have to do them.
“So I won’t do them for a while, and my pain will get really bad.
“Then I’ll start doing them again, and I’ll feel better.
“Then, I always stop.”
Brian continues: “The vast majority of people I’ve interviewed choose to feel bad 24 hours a day because it would take them 20 minutes to feel good for 23 hours and 40 minutes a day.”
Wow.
My first thought was — well, I would never do this!
And then — Of course I do this.
I don’t have chronic pain, but there are lots of things I choose not to do every day that, actually, make me feel better, actually make me feel good, get me closer to things I want.
Why not?
Oftentimes, we face obstacles: illness, exhaustion, a schedule fixed outside of our control, obligations we need to tackle first, family needs, money limitations, work, school, and so on.
These obstacles are real and make doing what we wish we could do every day impossible or very hard.
Note: I didn’t have this acknowledgment originally, which was pretty ridiculous for a newsletter about illness! I’m grateful to a thoughtful reader who pointed this out.
My original post was focused on the anecdote that Brian shared — that the person in pain could do their exercises daily, but found them boring. That they weren’t dealing with obstacles of energy or time or money — simply the challenge of motivation. Perhaps that’s true for most people, but not those of us with chronic or other serious illnesses.
Still, motivation can be its own real challenge, too.
Why don’t we nudge ourselves to do something when we have an opening and time and energy do it? Especially when we do have the time and energy?
Why couldn’t the person with chronic pain push past their boredom to do 20 minutes of exercise?
Brian concludes: “Humans are irrational.”
Yes, true!
But I also think they just haven’t built a habit yet.
Their exercises hadn’t become automatic, like brushing teeth.
It still required a thought, a decision, a choice each day.
I know I feel better when I go to the gym. Pedaling on a stationary bike for 20 minutes makes my heart rate rise, and I feel great. I also notice I’m more energized the rest of the day and my thinking is clearer. It truly transforms my mood and my day. And research has shown exercise is helpful for your health in the long run, too.
When I write this out, it seems obvious. What better use of 20 minutes! And yet, I don’t do this every day! I’m lucky if I get to the gym once a week.
Some days, there just is no free time before the gym closes — there’s work and dinner and family needs and Little League baseball, and well, it can’t happen.
But other days, I could go. Why don’t I?
How about you?
Maybe for you, you’ve noticed that your day is so much better if you get great sleep, which happens if you go to bed by 10 and if you aren’t on the computer for an hour right before bed. Or maybe you feel great if you eat more vegetables and fruits. Or if you don’t scroll of social media first thing when you wake up. Or if you take your medicine every day at the same time. Or if you do 10 minutes of meditation. Or if you talk to a friend each day. Or if you get outside.
(Honestly, yes to all of these.)
What’s one thing you have noticed that makes a difference in your day when you do it, but mostly you don’t do it on the days when you could?
How can we change this?
Making choices automatic
When I think about this puzzle around motivation, I think about friction.
Each time, we have to decide: Am I going to really do this?
When am I doing to do this?
Decisions take willpower, which is finite. Decisions are tiring.
How can we make doing this small thing automatic in our day?
How do we take away the decision?
This is what happens with habits. We don’t decide — we just do.
Basically, we need to make a new habit, so when we do have the energy and time, it is automatic.
The good news is there is a LOT of research out there on habits. Two of my favorite books are Atomic Habits by James Clear and The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.
Noticing what you already do automatically
The Power of Habit focuses on the habit loop: cue → routine → reward.
Basically, there’s a trigger or cue in our day, which prompts us to go through a routine, and which leads to a reward.
The reward can be as simple as feeling full or getting to where we want to go. But something happens because of the routine.
In The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg argues that we can’t get rid of habits, but we can replace one routine with a different routine.
So if you always get up in the morning (cue) and reach for your phone to check social media (routine), you could replace the social media scrolling with something else — say, 10 minutes of meditation.
How would you do that?
Well, you are already reaching for your phone. You have a habit in place. It’s automatic. You don’t have to decide.
You could put a sticky note on your phone that says: “10 minutes of meditation first, please! Thank you, dear. Love, your Future Self.”
When you see that note, it’s a new cue for you, which could trigger a new routine.
Instead of opening up Instagram, you could open up the clock app and set a timer for 10 minutes. That would cue you to do your meditation. And you’d still get to look at social media afterwards = reward.
You’d have to do this for a bit to make it automatic, but you would be sliding in a new routine into a place where you are already on auto-pilot.
(Note: One of the keys in this scenario is having that note on your phone. So maybe that has to be part of your routine at night now, putting the note back on the phone. Maybe it needs to live wherever the phone is stored at night.)
Four Laws of Behavior Change
Atomic Habits takes this a little further. Author James Clear adds explicitly the desire, or craving, that is part of the habit loop: cue → craving → response → reward.
He has studied each part of the habit loop and how to make it happen.
He calls this the Four Laws of Behavior Change:
Make it visible
Make it attractive.
Make it easy
Make it satisfying
So let’s say you want to eat more vegetables. (I do!)
Right now, when I need a snack and open the door to the pantry or fridge, what is visible, easy, attractive, and satisfying? Pirate Booty. Goldfish crackers. Protein shake.
Most other things take time to make — not easy. The vegetables are hidden in the veggie drawer — not visible.
What do I want to eat instead?
Roasted veggies. Cucumbers and hummus. Yogurt and peanut butter and honey. Baba Ganoush (eggplant-tahini dip) and pita chips.
Those all sound satisfying to me, totally yummy!
Are any of those actually in the house already?
Are they in the front of the fridge?
Are they already cut up and washed and prepared?
Are they on the grocery list?
The only thing already in the house is the yogurt, peanut butter, and honey. But I could put the PB and honey on the counter, so I see it. Just by making it more visible, I’m more likely to eat it as my snack with yogurt.
This works the opposite way, too. If you make a behavior less attractive, less visible, less easy, and less satisfying, that behavior becomes more difficult.
If I wanted to avoid eating something, I could put it in a high-up cabinet, so it is less visible. Or not buy it at all!
I know, this is not rocket science. But it is the invisible laws all around us that are nudging us in certain directions all day long.
Here’s a page from Atomic Habits, which I highly recommend:
Let’s try this out
So here’s an exercise for us today.
Write down:
1 small thing you want to do every day
When do you want to do it?
How can you make it visible?
How can you make it attractive?
How can you make it easy?
How can you make it satisfying?
What is the “cue” to prompt you at that point in your day? Can you do this right after something you already do every day? (This is called “habit stacking.”) Do you need a note or alarm?
One final note: Having an additional reward for keeping your habit makes it more satisfying.
James Clear and many others suggest a habit tracker, a visible acknowledgment of doing the thing day after day. It could be as simple as a line on a sheet of paper or a check mark on your calendar.
Trying to keep a streak going can be encouraging to some people, but discouraging to other people, especially if energy, sickness, schedule, or other obstacles means a streak is an unreasonable goal.
Michelle Spencer, author of the newsletter Armchair Rebel, shares a tip she learned from naturopath and creative well-being coach Gauri Yardi of adding a marble to a jar each time you accomplish something — an idea that Gauri tells us also came from Atomic Habits! (More proof of how useful this book can be.) A marble, or a paper clip, or any small object, offers the benefit of a visible sign growing, without the unneeded stress of a broken streak.
For fun, I made us a June 2023 calendar with a star on each day. Color in the star for every day you do your new habit. You can try for a streak if you like, or skip the streak and celebrate each time you color in any star.
It looks like this:
I hope you find it useful.
What small daily habit do you want to adopt? You can share in the comments below, and we’ll cheer you on.
And if you aren’t sure how to make it visible or attractive or easy or satisfying, ask in the comments and I’ll offer some ideas.
Let us know how it goes!
To our journeys,
Brianne
p.s. I’m hoping to put this into use with my own writing. If it works, you’ll start to see Field Notes on Wednesdays more regularly and another post sometime else in the week, too — like this one. 🌟
I think the tips ARE useful, its the unintentional cultural messaging we have to watch. I 110% resonate with wanting it to be true… I sometimes say Past Me wanting what she’s always wanted has it in for me! Thank you for taking this in the spirit it was offered… I’ve been wondering if I should delete it because I didn’t want to attack or criticize YOU especially in your very own Substack. I enjoy your insights and photos and our comment chats, thank you. Why do we so often assume self-kindness is ‘slacking’ when we look at ourselves? Not other people, of course.
Yes, there are many ways to do it, I put glass beads in a pretty jar and watch them grow - like watching my substack posts accumulate even if I can’t post every week like I “should”.