10 things that helped in a sleepless spell

Small tricks for falling back asleep when your brain is keeping you up

Made by AI in Canva with a prompt that began: “Woman lying awake in bed in the dark by a window of stars …”

Hello, dear friends,

How are you? How is your sleep?

I sometimes feel those two questions are one and the same.

I recently went through a rough patch of sleeping. Getting not enough sleep makes everything harder. I know I don’t have to tell you about the great powers of sleep.

The sleepless spell stirred up memories of the years when our son was little and woke up throughout the night, wanting a parent to snuggle with him or a drink of water or to be tucked in again or help finding his favorite stuffie lost 2 feet away in the blankets. I was exhausted all the time then.

This time, the culprit was different — an intense project with (thankfully) an end date. I looked up the expert advice: no screen time two hours before bed, don’t eat or drink late in the evening, stick to a strict waking and sleeping schedule, yadda yadda.

Honestly, sometimes you can read the studies and what seems to make an actual difference to your particular human life is different. So take this post as an n of 1.

Here are 10 small things that helped me. (And I’m grateful to be back to my regular 7-8 hours of solid sleep.)

Maybe you’ll find something here that gives you an idea for how to help improve your own sleep.

We all feel better when we’re sleeping well.

As always, I’m not a doctor, and this is not medical advice. You know your body best. Please ask a doctor if you have any concerns.

1. Make a list, make a plan — A busy mind is a terrible sleep buddy. I wrote a giant to-do list so my brain didn’t feel obligated to spin through lingering tasks at midnight. (After all, it’s your brain’s job to keep you safe and out of trouble.) Even better than making a list was noting a plan for when exactly tomorrow I’d get to the most urgent items. A plan gave my brain permission to sleep.

2. Move during the day — I know, when we are exhausted moving can be less appealing, not more. I found biking at the gym was doable — just sitting and pedalling! If I read newsletters or emails on my phone or listened to podcasts, time flew, and before I knew it, I was sweaty and it had been 30 minutes. That movement helped so much with sleep later.

3. Bath before bed — A bath did many things: relaxed me, distracted me, offered a routine and a cue for bedtime, cooled down my body.

4. Chamomile tea — Some people like sleep gummies or melatonin. I like chamomile tea, a warm, soothing cup of calm. (Chamomile tea has many other health benefits.)

5. Cool down your bedroom — Depending on the season, this could be as simple as opening a window for an hour before bedtime.

6. Turn off ALL the lights — When I was restless in bed, that itty blinking computer cord light or glow from the little bathroom nightlight felt like a beacon. I turned them off or blocked them. Some people like eye masks, too, to shut out everything.

   

   Telling time without a phone — my bedside clock.

7. Get a bedside analog clock — The phone is an addiction machine. If I let myself pick up my phone, simply to check the time, before I knew it, 3:14 a.m. became morning. Instead, to check the time (which I don’t recommend but sometimes you just have to know), I put this clock by my bed. It’s quiet, pretty, and includes a button to light up the clock face.

8. Give yourself permission to tackle that thing — Is it better to stare at the ceiling from 3 a.m. to 6 a.m. or do something? I always tried to fall back asleep, but after an hour of completely-wide-awake in the dark, I sometimes gave up and pulled out my laptop. I don’t love this option, but having two hours of work already done on a day where I’m tired is better than still having those two hours of work to do. It’s ok! Do what you need to do! Give yourself grace and kindness in these sleepless periods.

9. Use a tiny reading light — When I found myself awake at 3 a.m., I knew turning on the bedside lamp or overhead light was a bad idea. Bright light would signal to my eyeballs (which are actually the only external part of the brain!) that it’s time to get up for the day. Instead, I kept a tiny reading light (this bendable one) on my nightstand, which I used to read until I was tired enough to fall back asleep.

   

   My bendable reading light. (“Lessons in Chemistry” is not a great sleeping aid. It’s so good you may be reading until the wee hours.)

10. Try head-to-toe meditation — This is my favorite trick to do in bed, lying in the dark. Basically, you start with your toes and work your way up to your head, tensing muscle groups along the way, holding for 10 seconds, and then releasing. Start with your toes, curling them, holding them for 10 seconds, then releasing; then your feet, pointing your toes up so your calves are tense, holding for 10 seconds, then releasing. Onto your thighs, stomach, arms, shoulders, and so on. I’m always amazed by how much relief occurs in each release. By the end, after tensing my shoulders and letting them relax again, I felt like a limp rag and was finally ready to go back to sleep. There are many variations; a full body scan meditation is similiar, with a focus of bringing awareness to each part of your body.

What helps you sleep?

I’d love to hear what you’ve found useful over the years.

Hope you have a lovely day ahead and deep sleep tonight!

To our journeys,
Brianne

p.s. If you are new here, welcome! Here are a few favorite posts from the archives to explore:

• The Smack of a Diagnosis 💥

• Emotion: "Just Electrical Activity in my Head" 🤯

• How to Complete the Stress Cycle ↩️