Thoughtwork 💭
Looking closely at the sentences in our mind
I’ve wanted to write about this for a long time, because it’s so important for our health, both our mental health and our physical health. I’m not a psychiatrist, or neuroscientist, or psychologist, though. What I’m going to write about here I learned from books, articles, and podcasts, from other people — psychologists, psychiatrists, neuroscientists, writers, life coaches.
Yes, life coaches. While there is so much science on our thoughts and feelings, and how they impact our bodies, translation into practical tips and real-world frameworks has come through people like Byron Katie, Eckhart Tolle, Brooke Castillo, Martha Beck, and many more I haven’t discovered yet.
How your 2023 will turn out depends a lot on your thoughts.
Your health in 2023 depends a lot on your thoughts.
So what is Thoughtwork?
“Thoughtwork” is not in the dictionary yet, but I bet it’s coming soon. Thoughtwork is about noticing your thoughts, and how they create your feelings, and working on changing them for the better.
Here are some of the core principles of thoughtwork:
We can influence what thoughts we think. We can change our thoughts.
Not all thoughts are helpful.
Thoughts create our feelings.
Feelings are powerful. They determine how we act.
If we think a different thought, we could experience a different feeling, and thus act differently, and thus, have a different life.
Thoughts are incredibly powerful.
One example of thoughts in action
If this all seems like gobbledygook, here’s an example:
Imagine two different people driving to an appointment. Suddenly, the traffic halts. It’s the middle of the afternoon, not rush hour, and there’s no clear reason. As the traffic inches forward, both people realize they will be late. And soon they can see that there is a massive accident ahead.
Person 1’s thoughts: Oh %^$#@! I can’t believe this! ARGH! Why does this always happen to me? I’m going to miss the appointment! This is AWFUL. &*%?#!
Person 1’s feelings: anger, frustration, indignation, stress
Person 2 is in another car nearby.
Person 2’s thoughts: Oh no! What a terrible accident! I hope everyone is OK. Oh my. If I had just left a few minutes earlier, I could have been in that accident, too. How lucky I missed it. I better call the doctor’s and see if they can still get me in, because I’m going to be late. Then I can listen to that podcast I’ve been wanting to finish.
Person 2’s feeling: concern, compassion, calm, figuring it out
Not only are their thoughts different, but that means their body’s reaction is different: their feelings are different, their blood pressure is different, their stress level is different, and how they act next is different.
It can seem like a circumstance (getting stuck in traffic) causes our thoughts.
But the same circumstance can cause a whole array of different thoughts, depending on the person.
We create our thoughts, not the circumstance.
You’ve likely seen this with family members or friends, neighbors or teachers, other people in your lives. (It’s easier to see how thoughts are optional in other people, and harder in ourselves — our thoughts can seem logical and inevitable!)
Getting stuck in traffic is one minor example, but think of all the bigger life circumstances that cause strong thoughts and thus, strong feelings.
Our thoughts impact our health
Unfortunately, our human nature isn’t always inclined to the most helpful thoughts. We can get stressed about things that haven’t even happened yet. (Sound familiar? It does to me for sure.)
We are biased to remember the negative, not the positive. Our brains like to make up stories to explain things, and sometimes we think something is about us, when it is not at all. (Right?)
How do these stressful thoughts make us feel?
How do they make our body react?
On any given day, our thoughts of hopelessness can lead us to skip the healthy meal or the walk. Our thoughts around a friend or family member can lead us not to call them. Our thoughts around world issues or politics can make us furious and tense.
But our thoughts can also lead us to feel empathy and to reach out. Our thoughts can also lead us to compassion and concern and to help or advocate for change. Our thoughts can also lead us to take that walk, even though it’s cold outside.
See how our thoughts connect to our feelings, and our actions, and our health?
The thoughts in our mind drive so much.
Doing “The Work”
So what do we do about this?
Many life coaches and mind experts start by recommending that you first notice your thoughts.
Life coach Brooke Castillo calls this “a thought download” — taking a sheet of paper and writing down all the thoughts going on in your head. What are you thinking about? What thoughts keep haunting you? What thoughts are driving how you are feeling today? Just record them, like a transcriber, and try not to judge them. Getting them out on paper, seeing them as separate than you, will allow you to see them anew and differently.
Then pick one that is bothering you a lot.
Byron Katie has a list of questions to ask yourself about that thought.
Is it true?
Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
How do you react when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?
She calls this process of thinking about a thought: “doing The Work.” (She offers this work live with her on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays mornings, 9-10 a.m. PT, on Zoom.)
“People try so hard to let go of their negative behaviors and thoughts, and it doesn’t work, or it works only for a short time. I didn’t let go of my negative thoughts; I questioned them, and then they let go of me, and so did my addictions and depression.” ― Byron Katie
This sounds perhaps like magical thinking. Problems can be real and hard — if you don’t have a place to sleep tonight, believing you do won’t change that. But Thoughtwork isn’t about denying the circumstance; it’s about rethinking our judgment of it.
For those of us who have food and shelter, our emotion-laden thoughts are often judgments, expectations, assessments, and ideas about other people.
We can think differently, with more kindness and compassion toward ourselves and others, and more openness about what is possible, and more wisdom about the inevitable slings and arrows of life. Different thoughts can change our feelings and our actions, and all of that has impact on our health.
I realize this is a lot. I’ve put off this piece for so long, because I didn’t know if it could be explained in 1,000 words or if this is what would be interesting to you. (Can you imagine those thoughts in my head?) Whole books are written about our thoughts and how to handle them, so this is just a little piece.
Did this make any sense? Would you like more about this? Have you tried Thoughtwork, or working on your thoughts in any way?
How do you think your thoughts impact your health?
What kind of thoughts do you want to have in 2023?
To our journeys,
Brianne
I’m doing some thought work. I am also intrigued that a lot of us have over-amped nervous systems, keyed up & ready to fight/flight rather than moving into rest/digest. I find the quality of my thoughts is an indicator. If I am hating everyone & everything I am tired and need to rest, when I do the doom thoughts magically melt away. I’m also enjoying a version of Internal Family Systems work, where I talk to the part that is all stressed and negative AND the part that is all zen and kind. Such a fascinating topic to write about. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing it.
I have worked with my thoughts a lot, changing our thoughts really do change our circumstances, but there is a lag effect.
Changing your thoughts today will change your circumstances in two years! Or at least it will take that long to notice the slow change happening over time