Field Notes #41: Connection, a key to a happier, healthier, longer life 🔑

Plus, 2023 as the "Year of Disabled Joy," how to read more with chronic illness, and writing to get noticed

Hello, friends! Here we are, somehow in 2023 already, a number that looks so futuristic, so sci-fi to me, that I am astonished we are here. I’m wondering anew about this space together. Would you like to join an Odyssey of the Body book club? Or a private chat in the Substack app? Or a virtual gathering once a month, say, to learn breathwork or thoughtwork or something else? (I have both real evidence and a hunch that you are especially thoughtful, kind, keenly wise people, and I bet some of you would become friends. :)

What do you want to read in Odyssey of the Body in 2023? I’m open to ideas, feedback, thoughts! You can always reply to this email or write in the comments below.

1 health insight

One of the biggest things we can do in 2023 to nurture our health is to nurture our friendships and connections with other people. That might seem fluffy. Scientific studies, though, back this up over and over again. The most famous is the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which followed 700 young men for decades, into their 80s and beyond, and which is now following their children.

Here is one study director explaining the findings:

“The people who were the most satisfied with their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80,” he explains.

Good relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer.

How do we lean into relationships, though? What does that look like?

Here are two ideas:

• Join a group to do more of something you already love. Meetup is one platform that lets you search for groups near you, or check your local library, gym, and community / parks and recreation center. How about pickleball? It’s is a welcoming crew, and there are often open times when you can show up and play with whoever is there. Or swing dancing? Or soccer or painting?

• Set a fixed weekly date with a friend. This could be a Zoom call, a phone call, or an in-person walk or coffee. The great thing about a fixed time each week is that you avoid the back and forth of finding a time. I talk to one wonderful friend every Monday morning on Zoom right now, and it’s a bolt of joy in the week.

How do you want your 2023 to look when it comes to friends, family, and community?

2 quotes

Let 2023 be the Year of Disabled Joy is an essay by Lucy Webster worth a full read, as she considers the different types and textures of “disabled joy.” Here is just one small excerpt:

“Then there is a more complicated subset of disabled joy: joy found in things nondisabled people think are terrible. Often, this is the joy you have to learn to see. But once found, it has the potential to transform. This is the joy of receiving good care, of feeling comfortable asking for help, of learning to rest, of saying no to inaccessible plans, of making people notice ableism, of learning to like what you see in the mirror, of letting go of what could have been, of celebrating what is, of being proud of the battles you fought and won and forgiving yourself for the ones you lost, of carrying on, of believing that different is not worse, of formulating plan C when plan A and B have both failed, of accepting pain instead of denying it, of loving a body you were told to hate, of solidarity with the people fighting tooth and nail alongside you for a better future.”

“This joy is the joy of resistance. To feel it and revel in it is an act of courage, a statement of intent, a flag raised.”

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And an incisive quote, among so many, from Dr. Haider Warriach’s illuminating “Song of our Scars” book:

“Of the many peculiarities in the practice of medicine, one that is particularly peculiar is that doctors and nurses are highly unlikely to have lived with serious illness. Physicians mostly prescribe drugs, order imaging studies, and perform procedures they have never experienced themselves. They are like chefs who have never tasted their own food.”

3 links

🩰 Dancing Through Harlem (YouTube) Gorgeous, calming, uplifting performance in New York City by the Dance Theatre of Harlem, circa early pandemic days.

📢 Freakification: A modest proposal that may be totally wrong for you (Story Club with George Saunders). An interesting idea from a famous writer: What if we try writing in a way that attracts attention, that stands out, that makes noise? “For some small subset of us, in which I’d include myself, the way to go deep is to try to get noticed.”

📚 How to read more with chronic illness (Natasha Lipman in The Rest Room newsletter) — If problems with concentrating, energy, pain, or time have prevented your reading, there could be something useful here in this “whole heap of practical tips” for you.

I hope you have a wonderful first week of 2023. Maybe today is a day for a call with a friend?

To our journeys,

Brianne